And the Roller Coaster Continues

What a roller coaster! Just when I thought dad was in the clear and ready to start his cancer treatment another bomb dropped! Dad had to go back to the hospital last week, spending some time in the ICU. Needless to say, I have been crying and quite upset for about a week now! Here is the story …

Mom has been draining fluid from his abdomen that is there due to the cancer. Apparently, to much has been drained and dad got super dehydrated. Once they finally got his fluid numbers back to normal, his blood pressure dropped because he was a little late taking his medication. Once his blood pressure got regulated again, a blood clot showed up in his arm. When I talked to him last, his numbers and vitals and internals were all back to normal. His doctor and his cancer doctor are working closely together to make sure this does not occur again. Once he gets released from the hospital (hopefully this weekend) he will be able to start his cancer treatment.

Being daddy’s little girl has made this even harder. Being mom’s best friend has made this even harder. Knowing that dad has to spend his days and nights alone in the hospital (minus the hours that mom goes after work) makes me feel so guilty for being so far away. Knowing that mom spends her nights alone makes me feel selfish for not going home to be there her. The only thing that is stopping me from going home is that dad wants me to stay and finish what I started. I am trusting when he says that there is no reason to come home. When I lived in Utah, it was hard enough being two hours away last year when dad got sick. Now that I’m across the country, sometimes in the middle of the Caribbean, it is absolutely crushing to me that I cannot be there for my family.

My trust and faith in the Lord is about all that is keeping me going right now (plus the wonderful cards my 3 nieces made me). I know that we are given challenges to test us, strengthen us, and to educate us. There is a silver lining to this enormous grey cloud that is lurking over my family. There is no better feeling than the comfort the Holy Ghost provides us during hard times. I know this now more than ever. Without the Spirit by my side, I don’t know how I would make it throughout the day. If you are reading this blog, please take a moment when you finish to tell those around you how much you love and appreciate them. If there is a family member/friend you haven’t spoken to a while, give them a call to see how they’re doing. Do not wait for the storm to hit before you contact those whom you care about. I appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers from all of you for my dad. I hope this blog finds you all doing well and enjoying every minute you have with those around you.