This just doesn't seem real ...

Sitting here on the couch with all of the family here, I still cannot believe my dad is gone. I miss seeing him on the couch, watching football. I miss hearing him shuffle down the hall. Life as I knew it before is over. My dad is no longer here. I am trying to stay strong for mom, but deep down inside I am broken. I just want to cry and am moments away from an emotional breakdown. But like I said, I have to stay strong for mom. I feel as though part of me is missing.Who is going to walk me down the isle when I get married? Who are my future kids going to call "papa" and play ball with? My dad was the one I turned to for help and advice. He coached me through softball and he coached me through life. I have learned so much from him. The only thing that is keeping me afloat, besides my family, is my faith. I know that yesterday was not the last time I'll see my dad. I know that right now he has been reunited with his parents and sharing all of the stories about us kids. I know that he is looking down, watching me, and knows how much I love and miss him. I know that he is with the spirits of my future children. All of that being said, I am still heartbroken. I can't do anything without thinking of him. I don't think I'll be able to step on a softball field for a long time. It will just be to hard to be there without dad there, carrying the bucket of balls behind me. My dad is such an amazing man! I miss you dad! I love you dad! I'll never forget you ...
We are holding an open house this Sunday, September 25, to celebrate the wonderful life of my dad. If you would like to come, we would love to have you. Message me or text me for the address. 

A Special Man

 As I sit here trying to write this, I cannot possibly think of the right words to say right now. Tonight, on September 21, 2011 at 8:35 pm, I lost the most important man in my life. My dad is the most amazing man I know. He put everyone's needs above his own, even up until his last moments. He made sure that I was back from the Caribbean. He made sure that he had one-on-one time with every member of our family that is in town. He knew just the right moment to let go and return to Heaven to be with his parents and Heavenly Father. Words cannot express what my dad means to me. I am the woman I am today because of him. His desire for all of his kids (including his softball kids) to have a successful life was the most important thing. The impact he made throughout his life was made clear the past few days with the amount of messages I have received, the text messages I received, and the amount of people that came to visit. Thank you everyone for your generous words, thoughts, and prayers for my dad and my family. Your love has been felt and greatly appreciated. He loved each and every one of you and you all were so important to him. I wish I had pictures of everyone to post on here, but these are just the few that I have on my computer.

The End is Near ...

Today has been a rough day for the family. The day started off with dad being transported to get chemo. When we got there, a miscommunication had been made and dad was to early for his chemo. He is not strong enough to be transported more than twice a day, so we were left waiting for his cancer to figure out what to do next. When the cancer doctor arrived, dad told him he was tired and couldn't fight anymore. Dad has been fighting this cancer so hard these past 8 weeks and his body just can't keep up with the demands of fighting such a tough cancer. After checking dad's lab work, the doctor told us that cancer treatments right now are not an option. While doing chemo or other such treatments would help shrink the cancer, the chances of completely getting all of it out were slim to none. Also, the chance of the cancer coming back was very. He also hinted that dad's cancer had spread. After finding out all of this, dad stuck with his decision to be put in a hospice ... and that is where we are today. All of our family that is in town was at the hospice tonight along with some very close friends of our family. A lot of tears have been shed today, but also some laughs as we remembered all of the good and funny moments we all shared with dad. While we do not know how much longer he has, we are cherishing these last few days we have with him. I am going to miss my dad more than I words can explain. I could not have asked for a better dad. He always pushed me to do my best with whatever endeavors I take on. He supported me in every decision I made. He always had our families best interest at heart. Although dad may no longer be with us soon, his spirit will continue on in the many people's lives that he has touched. He is a very special man and I am going to miss him dearly. Thank you for all of your love, support, and prayers. My family can definitely feel all of your abounding love and are truly grateful for it.

My Last Night on the Dream

 Leaving the Dream was incredibly sad for me. The girls I work with are my sisters. We have shared many laughs, joys, tears, and memories. We came from all over the world and quickly became a family! I miss you Camp Carnival Dream Team!!!

 My Team on the dance floor

 We get a little nutty after dealing with all the kids

 Canadian ... enough said (haha love you Heather)

 Setting up for Kids Dinner

 Boy do I miss these girls

 In the words of Miss Lidiya ... "So Nice!"

 Besides my family, I will miss sunrises and sunsets across the horizon. Pictures do not even begin to do the beautiful view justice. It is absolutely breathtaking and peaceful! I will miss those subtle, quite moments!

 Mattia from Malta ... This little boy melted all of our hearts in camp.

 Miss Nora from Peru

 Got pretty to take some pictures

 One of my favorite Philippinas ... Owen!

 Wendy from New Zealand ... talk about an amazing woman ... she is one of the best!

 Doing some dancing with Andrea

 Go Own! Go Owen!

Some of my sisters at The Song, listening to the Latin Trio

Robert from the Latin Trio! This man holds a special place in my heart!

Cave Tubing

For Joleen's birthday, the three of us decided to go cave tubing in Belize. While getting up that early after working till midnight was no fun, the tour was absolutely amazing! I love these girls! We had such a blast!!

On the bus ... heading up to the caves

Thats right ... we're going in the jungle

Getting all geared up ... helmet, light, lifejacket

Ready to go!

Got our tubes ...

and into the water ... the cold water ...

Tour Guide Miguel

It was quite the walk to the caves ...

Just behind us is where we enter the cave

GORGEOUS!!!!

Getting ready to go!

Jo is pretty excited!

Bottoms up! Bottoms UP!

in the water ...

and on our way

thumbs up dude!

Breath-taking!

See the black spot ... that is a group of bats ... yes bats!

and more bats

The light at the end of the tunnel .... or cave